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Date: 09.07.2009
From: J

Subject: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Ok guys here goes.... thought u keeep us all larfing we could do a Joke page... Im crap at jokes... but here goes....

Jesus said to moses " come forth, come forth" but he trippped over and came 5th!!!

ROFLMAooooooooooo PMSLLLLLLLLLLLL soz i love that one... I also know a norty one...but that can wait till I c how many saucy jokes we get hehehaahehahehaehh
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Date: 09.07.2009
From: J

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Yo Mama is sooooooooooo Fat, people jog around her for Exercise PMSLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
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Date: 09.07.2009
From: Lynne

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

And Jesus said " lead us not into temptation"
I don't need any help
I can get there all on my own!

Roflmaooo
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Date: 10.07.2009
From: J

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Date: 10.07.2009
From: Lynne

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Two men in a supermarket looking pensive.. one says to the other. I'm looking for my wife
2nd one say's ..say's me too
1st one say's.. what she look like
2nd one say's.. 60, grey hair blue dress
1st one says .. mine 25 blonde hair.. red hot pants
2nd one say's... .. lets look for your wife

AAAwwwee
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Date: 10.07.2009
From: Lynne

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Not my joke heard it on radio 2 yesterday lolololol
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Date: 11.07.2009
From: J

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

ROFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i love that one.....gotta think some more up...watch this space later x
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Date: 11.07.2009
From: Jill

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

For Lynne cos shes got a Parrot INnit!!

A very insulting parrot
This elderly lady, recently widowed, decides to see if a pet will ease her loneliness and goes to the pet store. She decides against puppies, kitties, etc., and is about to leave the store when she hears a voice saying, "My, do you look lovely this afternoon, madam."

She turns around quickly to see who has spoken, but there is no one. All she sees is a big green parrot, resting on his perch in his cage. "Did you say that?" she asks.

"Why, yes, I did!" he replies. "And may I add that dress is a very nice color for you."

The lady suddenly realizes how nice it would be to not only have a talking parrot, but one that paid such nice compliments. So she pays for him and takes him home. On the way, she says, "You know, I am so proud of you that I believe I'll take you out for dinner! Would you like that?"

The parrot says, "Why yes, that would be delightful. I know a charming place on 7th Street."

So they arrive home and the lady progresses upstairs to her room to change for dinner, bringing the parrot along, of course. When the woman enters the building, the parrot begins complaining, swearing, and even bit her once.

Well, the woman is flabbergasted! She grabs the parrot by the throat, marches down the stairs into the basement, and stuffs the parrot in the freezer. She leaves him there in the freezer for five long minutes before taking him back out. The parrot is very cold.

She says, "Well? Have you learned your lesson? I will not tolerate such language in my house!"

The parrot says, "Okay, okay, I promise it won't happen again. I am deeply sorry."

Within five minutes, he is cursing again and bit her once on the arm and once on the finger.

The lady is absolutely stunned. She rips the parrot out of his cage, goes down the stairs, into the cellar, and, slam, into the freezer. This time, she leaves him in there for fifteen minutes.

When she finally takes him out, the parrot is one step away from death. He is shivering and has light frost on the beak. "I swear it will never ever happen again! I will never insult you again! I promise!" As he thaws, he looks up at the lady and says, "I do have one question though. That turkey in there, what'd he do, attack you?"
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Date: 11.07.2009
From: Jill

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"

hehehehahahhehehahaehahe
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Date: 11.07.2009
From: Jill

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"

"Why, it's bean soup," she replied.

"I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"

Lololololol
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Date: 11.07.2009
From: Jill

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Blonde Car Accident

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times


PMSL LOL SOLSASF...... hehehehahehahehhae from a Brunette hehehaheheh xx
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Date: 11.07.2009
From: J

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

one last Joke for saturday!!! lol

Are You Really Sure?

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."


hehehahehe
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Date: 11.07.2009
From: Lynne

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Thankksss Jill for the parrot joke .. sounds like it could be my parrot.. it's just bitten my Bro PMSL lolololol My sides hurt now.. Heheheheheheheheh
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Date: 11.07.2009
From: Lynne

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

A Blonde and a Brunette both jumped off a cliff, which one do you think hit the bottom first..????

The brunette of course.. the Blonde had to ask for directions LOLOLOL
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Date: 11.07.2009
From: Lynne

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

A Blonde walks into a shop and asks to buy a Tv.
the assistant say;s "sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

So she goes home and dyes her hair and returns to the shop to buy the Tv

The assistant refuses and state's again "sorry we don't sell to blondes"

Darn it she thought he recognised me, so she put on a wig, glasses, changed her makeup, to diguise herself, and went back to the store. She asked the assistant again if she could buy the TV

The assistant said "sorry we don't sell to Blonde's"

Furious she shouted out " how do you know I'm F******g Blonde"

The assistant replied. "because that's a microwave madam"


Hahahahahahahaha
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Date: 11.07.2009
From: val h

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

why did the little boy throw the clock out of the window?
to c time fly
corny or what lol
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Date: 11.07.2009
From: Jill

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Roflmaooooooooooooo Lynnne....and Val ya cant beat the old jokes...
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Date: 11.07.2009
From: val h

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

should be with a large stick (the one i told any way)lol
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Date: 03.10.2009
From: jill

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Here comes another Joke.....

How did the Bubble gum get acrosss the road?


LOL cos it was stuck on the Chickens Foot!!!! Pmsllmao
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Date: 04.10.2009
From: monica

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Here is another, not to rude i hope.

Three nuns travellingdown the motorway, all of a sudden BANG, big crash. They all die unfortunatly. Anyway they all go to meet St. Peter at the pearly gates. St Peter says" You just cannot come through, you have to answer questions first". "okay"say the nuns. First we will start with the two young nuns,so St Peter said to the first young nun, "Who were the first two people on earth"? "Thats easy she rplied, it was Adam and Eve. "Correct you may enter".
To the second young nun St Peter asks, "what was the name of the garden where they lived"? "Oh thats easy" said the second nun "The garden of eden". "Correct says St Peter you may enter"
To the third nun who was the Mother superior, he says "Because of your position your question will be more difficult". "Okay that seems fair" she says. So St Peter asks "What were the first words Eve spoke to Adam"? The nun putting hand on head States "Thats a hard One, "Correct states St Peter you may enter.
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Date: 04.10.2009
From: lynh

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Stutter
>
> A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human
> beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.
>
> A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."
>
> The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become,
> asked the girl to describe the incident.
>
> "Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the
> Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew
> it, he jumped over the fence into our yard"!!
>
> "That must've been scary," said the teacher.
>
> "It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went
> Sssss, Sssss, Sssss and before she could say "Shit", the Rottweiler ate
> her!!!!
>
> The teacher had to leave the room....

Hope you like this one!!lol
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Date: 04.10.2009
From: jill

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Pmsllmao Roflmaoooooooooooooo LOLOLOLOL gals, loved em both....... I must come up with some better jokes lolol.....watch this space......
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Date: 06.10.2009
From: Nutski

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Ok gals..... I cant think of any funny Jokes at mo, must go look on line for some, lighten the moood of our lovely forum.....so comon lets have em!! Nora U got any goood uns... x Jill
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Date: 29.12.2009
From: Verity

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

What side of a chicken has the most feathers?

The Outside!
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Date: 29.12.2009
From: Lynn

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Teacher says to joe "if i give you 2 rabbits, another 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits, how many rabbits have you got" 7 says joe. No the teacher says, if i give you 2 rabbits, another 2 rabbits and another 2 rabbits "how many rabbits have you got
7 said joe! OK said the teacher,if i give you 2 apples another 2 apples and another 2 apples how many apples have ypu got. 6 said joe....
ok said the teacher if i give you 2 rabbits another 2 rabbits and another 2 rabbits, how many rabbits have you got. 7 said joe. "How said the teacher, because ive got 1 at home said joe!!!
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Date: 14.01.2010
From: connor

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

A burglar broke into a house and was casing the lounge with his flashlight when he heard a voice from the far end of the room.

"Jesus is watching you." said the voice.

Startled the burglar spun round and played his flashlight in the direction of the voice.

"Jesus is watching and he is moving closer to you."

The burglar's flashlight beam lit up a parrots cage. "Was that you speaking to me ?" he asked.

" Yes," replied the parrot. " My name is Moses."

"Moses ?" Laughed the burglar. "What kind of idiot calls a parrot Moses ?"

The parrots feathers bristled and he placed one wing over his eye's. "The same kind of idiot who calls a Rotweiller Jesus."
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Date: 14.01.2010
From: Lynn B

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

HI Connor just got to say" you made my day ha ha ha"
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Date: 14.01.2010
From: shaz

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

good one connor really liked that one
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Date: 14.01.2010
From: gary

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Theres a couple of babes going around supermarkets trying to scam men.
They follow you to your car and ask for a lift.once inside they begin kissing eachother and fondling.
Then one asks if she can sit in the front and obviously you agree.As she goes down on you,her mate steals your wallet.
Both of them are in south east england at the minute Morrisons i might add so BE WARNED.
Ive been done 3 times in the last 2 weeks.
gary
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Date: 14.01.2010
From: MOONFIARY

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Two women are standing in front of the gates to heaven, one says to the other why are you here? one says i came home early from work because i thought my husband was seeing another woman, i looked everywhere in our house could not find anyone, then i had a heart attack, the other women then poses the same question, she then replies, you should have looked in your freezer lol
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Date: 16.01.2010
From: connor

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

This one I thought was hilarious.

Go to Google and type in.....

Burying my goldfish video
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Date: 17.01.2010
From: sandra lowe

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

very good connor like the parrot moses one, now going to google the goldfish video
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Date: 20.01.2010
From: connor

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

A tall, handsome and muscularly built young man walked into a chemist shop. He approached the lady behind the counter.

"Is it possible to see a male member of staff please ?" he asked nervously.

The lady replied that there were no male staff members and the chemist shop was run by herself and her twin sister.

"Well I feel a little uncomfortable discussing my problem with a lady you see." He replied.

The chemist smiled knowingly. "Young man I am 70 years old and have been a chemist for over 50 years. You can discuss any personal problem with me since I am a professional."

"OK then," he sighed reluctantly. "I've developed an erection and have had it for over 3 days now. Just can't get it to ease off."

Her eye's lit up. "Just let me go and have a word with my sister, she's also a trained chemist."

A few moments later she returned with a big smile on her face.

"Having discussed your case with Mabel the best we can offer you is full time employment at 2,000 pounds per month with accomodation thrown in..!"
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Date: 02.02.2010
From: Rubbish at jokes /jill

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

OK....WOT KIND BEES HAVE MILK???


BOOBIES/
boobees..........lol well noel edmomnds thort it funny lolol


Elephant walking minding his own business, when he came across a naked man, Elephant said to naked man " Bet ya Cant breathe thru that! hehhehahehahehhaehhae
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Date: 02.02.2010
From: jill

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Y did the Hedgehog cross the road?.......2 c his Flat mates!! hehehahehhaheha
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Date: 21.04.2010
From: Tom

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

What do you call a black man whos recently lost 20 stone of fat?

Lenny Henry lol
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Date: 22.04.2010
From: maz

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

lol @ these jokes, cheered me up no end!

What goes 99 clonk?....a centipede with a wooden leg.

What goes peck peck bang?... a chicken in a minefield.
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Date: 22.04.2010
From: JILL

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

lol mAZ NOT HEARD THE CHICKEN ONE!! oops caps...Tom lolololol.....

how did the chewing gum cross the road........was stuck on the chickenS foot!!HEHAHEHA my son told me that
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Date: 22.04.2010
From: maz

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

lol Jill, i know loads of jokes, bit too rude for here though,lol.
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Date: 22.04.2010
From: Paul

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

What is the difference between the volcano in Iceland and Cheryl Cole?

The volcano is still blowing ash!

Sorry if its a tad rude, its my forces humour ;-)
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Date: 22.04.2010
From: JIll

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
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Date: 22.04.2010
From: maz

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Brilliant Paul! lol, almost sprayed coffee on my screen with that one.
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Date: 23.04.2010
From: maz

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.
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Date: 23.04.2010
From: maz

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of
an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of
the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she
thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then
the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it
was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they
landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little
girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, little girl,
why are you crying?" and the little girl said, "an apple came
down and killed my new kitty". Next they passed a little boy
who
was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, little boy,
why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came
down
and killed my new puppy." Then they passed a blonde sitting on
the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, "why are you
laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the
building behind me blew up!!"
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Date: 23.04.2010
From: maz

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

A man who hated his mother-in-law got three wishes from a genie.
Genie: "Whatever you wish for, your mother-in-law gets DOUBLE."
First wish: "I would like one billion pounds."
Genie: "Ok but mum get's two billion."
Second wish: "I would like an island off the coast of Greece."
Genie: "OK but mum get's two islands."
Third wish: " I would like you to beat me half to death."
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Date: 25.04.2010
From: jill

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Maz LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Lmaooooooooooooooooooooo
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Date: 26.04.2010
From: MOONFIARY

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

An old couple went to the doctor and asked the doctor if he could watch them having sex he thought this odd but watched them, and then the old couple gave the doctor 50,00. The next week same thing happened couple has sex in front of the doctor and the doctor get's 50,00 this went on for weeks so the doctor said why do you two keep coming to see me, and you want me to watch you two have sex and then you give me 50.00 ,in reply the old gentlemen says well she is married i live in a nursing home, and the local hotel charges 150 a night and it only cost me 50,00 to come here.
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Date: 30.04.2010
From: Lynn B

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Paddy was having a bath, and shouted to Mick "have you got any shampoo!! Mick replied"on the shelve by the sink" I cant use that said Paddy its for dry hair and ive already wet mine....
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Date: 06.05.2010
From: maz

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did you get that?"
The pig replied,
"I won her in a raffle!"


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,

"For best results, put on two coats".
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Date: 06.05.2010
From: Lynn B

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Mick and Paddy are at the airport. Paddy says "I wish I had brought the telly" Mick asks "why? are you bored?" "No" replies Paddy " the f****** passports are on it".lol.
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Date: 06.05.2010
From: Lynn B

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Paddy hates his wife's cat so much he drives it to the next town and dumps it.
When he gets home its there. Next day he drives it 50 miles and dumps it. When he gets home its there again. So.. Next day he drives it to the other side of the country and dumps it.
6 hours later he rings his wife and asks "Is the cat home?" "Yes why" asks his wife, put the B****** on I'm frigin lost!!!
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Date: 07.05.2010
From: Jill

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL that is funny lolololololo
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Date: 07.05.2010
From: maz

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

lol Lynn those are ace, soooo funny, thanks for sharing!
xx
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Date: 08.05.2010
From: maz

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

A rich, lonely widow decided that she needed another man in her life, so she placed a personal ad that read: Rich Widow Looking for Man to Share Life and Fortune with the Following Qualifications:

1. WON'T BEAT ME UP
2. WON'T RUN AWAY
3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED

For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail, etc., all to no avail. None of the men seemed to meet her qualifications.

Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man, with no arms and no legs, lying on the welcome mat. Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you and what do you want?"

"Hi," said the man "Your search is over, for I am the man of your dreams. I've got no arms, so I can't beat you up and I've got no legs, so I can't run away."

The old woman asked, "What makes you think you're so great in bed?"

To which he replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
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Date: 09.05.2010
From: connor

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Grandad has taken his grandson shopping in the local supermarket.

They stop at the meat counter and the kid starts throwing a tantrum for sweets.

"Its ok Steve we won't be long. Relax buddy." said Grandad.

They move on to the fruit and veg section and the kid starts hollering again.

"Stevey boy calm down we'll soon be finished."

They move on to the bakery section and the kids tantrum gets worse. He kicks Grandads leg and starts ranting on about sweets again.

"Soon be time to go home and settle down with a nice cup of tea and watch some telly Steve so just hang on in there mate."

A lady had been monitoring the situation and approached Grandad.

"You should be congratulated for remaining so calm with young Steve. You know a lot of men would have had difficulty in dealing with this situation."

Grandad sighed aloud and turned to the lady.

"Thats very kind of you to say so ma'am, but I'm Steve. This little shit is called David."
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Date: 11.05.2010
From: tom

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

What's the difference between Nick Griffin and a bus?

A bus has got seats.
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Date: 09.06.2010
From: Dan

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Was trying to think of an arthritis joke but i dont know any.

I do have a comical thumb though, its massively swollen, almost as big as a midgets head. Though not those big headed midgets.

Its probably quite amusing watching me trying to open a tin of beans, or pick up a heavy book.

Though its probably funnier to watch the tears run down my cheek when someone gives me a firm hand shake.

The pain on my face when im wiping myself in the loo is probably the most amusing. Ok maybe not. Thats just disgusting. I must remember to keep the door closed. Especially in public. Unless Simon Cowell is there, maybe he will notice my undiscovered comical talents and sign me up.
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Date: 11.06.2010
From: sandra lowe

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

love your joke connor brill!!!
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Date: 11.06.2010
From: Verity

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Dan you sound a little bitter! you OK? x
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Date: 09.08.2010
From: Lynn B

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

I saw Paddy in the street the other day, dragging a wardrobe behind him, "Why dont you get Mick to help you" I said! "He is says Paddy! "hes In the wardrobe carrying the clothes"!!!
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Date: 10.08.2010
From: Lynn B

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

A policeman pulls up a scouser on the motorway,who is driving along with his dog in the front passenger seat. As he gets near the car, he sees the scouser belting the dog over the head "What did you do that for" asks the policeman!! "The B.....d just ate the tax disc",
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Date: 21.10.2010
From: Lynn B

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

I am passing this on to you,because it definitley worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.
Some doctor on TV this morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things Id started and havent finished and before leaving for work this morning I finished off a bottle of Chardonnay, a bottle of merlot, and a bodle of Baileys a budle of wum, a pockage of prungles, tha mainder of bot prozic and valiuminum scriptinr the res of tha chesescke an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how bludy fablus I fil rite now.
Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov iennr pisss.
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Date: 22.10.2010
From: v

Subject: Re: THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A jOKE SESSSION...joke section here !!

Bump bump
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