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Date: 09.01.2012
From: Paula

Subject: Had a good blub today

Hi,
Well wondered when it would, and it did and at 3 am. In pain, and the realsiation hit me, and i sobbed for an hour this morning. I felt really dark, and wondered if i would have to call the urgent care line (mental health) but a good cry gets it out doesn't it. I think there will be more to come to be honest, early days. For all of those suffering with depression and anxiety for whatever reason my heart goes out to all of you. I have severe and enduring mental health problems since the age of 23 and I am going to pop by and see my CPN today to tell him about the diagnosis of RA and what support will the team give me to cope with the emotional side of the illness. I tend to do my crying alone where no one can see. I do not have a lot of support to deal with mental health problems let alone RA as well. In fact my GP when I first started going to them with the physical problems it is stru stess,stress,stress, you know the pat drill. My family and friends are not ones for dealing with any kind of illness, that is the way it is. I have learnt to deal with it on my own and I probably will this. I have had a lot of issues with joint problems in the past when I was diagnosed with hypermobility joint syndrome, so have a lot of expereince of hydro, physic, ort hapedics, surgery, and all the stuff. I know I am strong inside, I get upset on my own, take a deep breath, and put a face on to the world. No choice. I am sure most of us are like that. I am going to concentrate on the practical today, phone the NRAS and ask some questions, and take it from there. Little steps. Sorry to burden and thanks for letting me share stuff here with you all, you have been helpful.
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Date: 09.01.2012
From: willis

Subject: Re: Had a good blub today

hi paula
hope you're feeling a little better now and have managed to rest some today. i've not had a full nights sleep for over 3 months. some nights i just lie there staring into darkness others i just get up as no point in being wide awake listening to everyone else in noddy land. i've started getting more aches and pains than i did before but still know it's better than i could be without the meds. the weather doesn't help - too hot or too cold no good for us.
let us know how you're doing
hugs, xxx
willis
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Date: 09.01.2012
From: bsk

Subject: Re: Had a good blub today

I'm sorry you are having a rough time at the moment. It's not easy being diagnosed with a serious illness and I can tell you I have a good cry now and then too. It's not easy to get the support you need sometimes but the peeps on here have been a real life line to me. Hope they are for you too.

Take care.
xx
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Date: 10.01.2012
From: Paula

Subject: Re: Had a good blub today

Hi, thank you for your messages both of you. It has been a tough few days but I hope to see my CPn for a little while tomorrow, because he does not know I have been diagnosed yet. I need to talk to him about all the stuff to be honest. Take it easy you two. A hug to both of you xx
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Date: 10.01.2012
From: bsk

Subject: Re: Had a good blub today

Thank you Paula and hope your CPN visit goes well.
xx
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