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Date: 05.04.2010
From: Toots

Subject: Telling people and work?

Hi there, I wondered if you could advise on how you told friends, family and work when you were first diagnosed? I was diagnosed about a week ago and am trying to think how to start telling people. Am scared of their reactions and if it will change things.... Any help us most appreciated
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Date: 06.04.2010
From: Abbie

Subject: Re: Telling people and work?

Hi Toots! For me it wasn't a big thing because I don't see Arthritis as a taboo illness. The Only thing that kinda worried me was would people believe a 32yr old could have Arthritis because some people are so ignorant. I was diagnosed 8months ago and have obviously told close friends and family as they new there was a problem I was having all sorts of tests for but others Only get told If they are curious as to why I wear hand braces or walk with a stick etc. I've Only had the braces and walked with a stick more recently and before that people would Only find out If they noticed me struggle and asked questions or the conversation went that way. When it came to work though. They new it was on the cards because i'd had problems effecting my job for about a year and had been off work just over a month before diagnoses. They were great about it though and I've recently managed to go back 1 day a week. It bloody kills me and I can't always make it in so do things from home but it does me the world of good when I do make it in. I hope this helps in some way. Go well! X
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Date: 06.04.2010
From: louloubelle

Subject: Re: Telling people and work?

I've had arthritis since childhood but told work about my condition soon after starting work. It is not obvious to people that I have arthritis as I do not need to use walking aids but do have bad days. Because of this I explained my condition to employers and answered their questions. Most importantly I let them know my restricitions (such as finding it difficult to do big typing jobs when flared up) so they are ble to work around that and put things in place to help (such as getting me an ergonmic keyboard).

In my experience, when you tell people you have arthur people respond with "you're young to have that" which is a great opportunity to explain that it is an auto-immune type of arthur and not osteo and that it can affect anyone at any age!

I hope it goes ok for you. The more you can inform people though, the easier it is for others to understand your needs.
Best wishes x
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Date: 06.04.2010
From: Sally

Subject: Re: Telling people and work?

Hi toots, I had to tell people as was so ill when first got it, was in hospital for nearly two weeks, so naturally everyone wanted to know why. I tell less people now, unless it is affecting something I do or say. Most people think I am talking about a small osteoarthritis problem and I've given up correcting them as it gets boring explaining it after a while!
x
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Date: 06.04.2010
From: Verity

Subject: Re: Telling people and work?

Hey Toots! Ive had it since chilhood too so never had to tell friends and family. People I meet now tend to be able to tell theres something wrong because of the way I walk, but I dont bother telling ppl unless they ask. I told my employer in my initial interview (admittedly I was doing quite well at the time so they thought id be reliable, ha! little did they know!). Ive been lucky coz theyve been incredibly understanding with regards absences and appointments (and now my up and coming op!). I was really scared though.

I think you'll be surprised how positively ppl respond and that the only person that has a problem with it is yourself)

Take care
xx
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Date: 06.04.2010
From: jen

Subject: Re: Telling people and work?

Erm.. My work knew straight away because my first symptom was 2 fingers swelling up and I went into work laughin about having big sausage fingers. And when a few weeks went by and my boss asked me about my hand I just burst into tears and had to explain all.. lol But yeah they're great about it, it doesn't affect my job yet, but they've said if and when I need something they'll bend over backwards. So if you have a good relationship with your boss then it's a positive step to tell them and work out how best to move forward. Good luck!
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Date: 06.04.2010
From: Toots

Subject: Re: Telling people and work?

Thanks guys, I just moved jobs internally so don't know my boss too well. Have decided to tell hem, at least when I am sick they'll understand I hope. Will tell them next week once they back from holiday. Re friends so far they hace all sad bur you so young and to be honest am finding it hard to talk about without crying so thinking about not telling people till I am coping a bit better. Thanks for your comments they help!
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Date: 07.04.2010
From: Verity

Subject: Re: Telling people and work?

Hey Toots, definately tell ya boss. Especially if you'll have to have time off. With regards tellin other ppl, only talk when youre ready. Its your illness not theirs xx
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Date: 07.04.2010
From: jill

Subject: Re: Telling people and work?

well said V xx
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Date: 07.04.2010
From: KOG

Subject: Re: Telling people and work?

Hi Toots, I can totally sympothise with you especially with regards to bursting into tears when talking to friends. I've recently been diagnosed with RA in Jan and initially I was relieved to hear that my symptoms were given a diagnosis and that I could get treatment for my pain and discomfort. Then after a few weeks the reality kicked in and I learned about my condition and was totally devistated. I was just imagining the worst and didn't know what my outcome wouold be! I'm slowly coming to terms with my RA and in all honestly my treatment is slowly kicking in. In response to your original question, how did I tell work, that happened fairly easily as I attended a hospital appointment during work time and told them when I returned back at work. I've had to take time off work and work have been very good with me. Typical when I'm just due back now that I've just got Shingles - I think this might be due to my low immunity!
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Date: 07.04.2010
From: Toots

Subject: Re: Telling people and work?

Thanks guys will tell work next week. I flutter between wanting to know all about RA and then think ignorance is bliss! Your comments really help so thanks!
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Date: 08.04.2010
From: jill

Subject: Re: Telling people and work?

(((((( Toots))))) hugs 4 u xx my Mantra btw is....POSITIVITY IS EVERYTHING X
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Date: 09.04.2010
From: toots

Subject: Re: Telling people and work?

thanks guys!!
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