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Date: 21.10.2009
From: Robyn

Subject: how can I help my mum

Hi, I'm after some advice on how to help my mum. She is 56 next month and has just been diagnosed with rheumatoid artritis. At the moment she is going through all the hospital appointments and investigating treatment plans etc. All this is taking its toll but getting her down more than anything is the pain in her hands, she is under a lot of pressure at work and lives on her own and says she often can't even move her hands or hold her arms up. She told me she hasn't slept properly in weeks because of the pain.
I live 2 1/2 hours away so can't get home often but I want to be able to help her in some way. Does anyone know of some way of managing the pain, even short term, a cream or gel she can massage in or an alternative treatment that's found to have worked? I hate knowing she is in pain and on her own.

Thank you
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Date: 22.10.2009
From: val h :-)

Subject: Re: how can I help my mum

hi robyn what a lovely person u r. warm water or wheat bag will help with the pain, but the best thing u can do is give her this site we will listen to all the things she will not say to u we listen and send hugs as we all know how bad the pain is no one else can really understand all the ups and downs that come with ra. at least she knows what is wrong now and they can find meds that will help her good luck val
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Date: 22.10.2009
From: Angela

Subject: Re: how can I help my mum

Hiya Robyn,
Like Val said wheat bags do comfort and help especially the shoulder ones that may sooth her shoulders if she cant raise her arms.
Also I think the best thing you can do is try and have loads of patience because mums moods will change all the time. and just be an open ear.
I am 53 and started just like your mum with RA and have 2 daughters and they care just like you, but sometimes I can tell I get them down, mainly I think its because they feel so helpless, so I keep things to myself as much as I can.
I have tried glucosamen and chroiditon gel (sorry cant spell it) that might help her hands stop aching for a while.
Hopefully the GP will give her some pain killers and she will get the right medication soon.
Also maybe she should consider taking some leave from work if she can because stress can make things feel a lot worse.If finances get stretched with your mum being on her own, then she may well be entitled to DLA, and there is plenty of advice on here to claim that.
Hope this helps
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Date: 22.10.2009
From: Robyn

Subject: Re: how can I help my mum

Thank you so much for your advice, I will direct her to this site, I definitely think it will do her good to speak to people who understand. She shuts herself away on her own at the best of times thinking she is just bothering people if she complains. As for the stress she runs at 7 or 8 normally, with this its probably pushing a 10 so I'm sure that must be contributing.
I saw someone on here talking about MSM for the pain, would that be worth a try? I see in H&B you can get 'blue ease cream' which contains it, any thoughts?

Thanks again.
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Date: 22.10.2009
From: Angela

Subject: Re: how can I help my mum

Hiya again Robyn, Yes thats me talking about m.s.m.. Its definately worth a try. I take the crystal form which is supposed to absorb into your system quicker. It is an anti inflammatory.
I do have meadow sweet tea as well which can help the pain, but some dont care for herbal teas.
Again it is worth looking it up and see what you think.
There is a supplier in Norfolk
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Date: 23.10.2009
From: jill

Subject: Re: how can I help my mum

Hi Robyn, lovely name, please ask ya mum to come in and chat with us, we r a nice bunch.... I think your Mum shld go see her GP, he will be kept informed by her rhumatologist what is wrong, and the plan they r going to take re Meds etc....but until all that goes thru, I think your Mum shld see gp to get some decent pain relief...... hand pain is horrendous... unless u have had it, its hard to explain.... plus when the hands r painful, u them realise how often we use them...and it does get us down big time......there r plenty of decent painkillers out there, im surprised her Rhumatologist didnt offer any...... gp is best during the meantime, to get her thru this.... u sound a lovely daughter and obviously u r, try not worry too much, difficult iknow, our loved ones r precious....but mum will soon be gettting so much better help with the therapys they can offer her... and decent meds too.... life will get better for her, once pain levels r in better control....I have pain in every joint...but my pain meds work so much and they help me from gettting too depressed and angry.....send all our love to your mum, and mb she can read some of the posts, we r all here to support each other....truly helps... take care

>Love Jill xx
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Date: 09.11.2009
From: Frances Newman

Subject: Re: how can I help my mum

If you live in central canada and need a product fast - in a day or so, I can advise everyone that I take a product with 23 herbs for over 17 years and if more info. is needed, I could give you the name of the product and how you can get yours.
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