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Date: 23.09.2009
From: Della

Subject: feeling really down

Hiya all feeling really sad at the moment fed up with always moaning i was such a happy go lucky person but now i just feel like my whole life has been taken away.yes i suffered with a bad back since i was 16 and panic attacks which were hurrendous but now i just feel so useless.I'm tired all the time and i really mean all the time i can get up and feel like i want to go back to bed after a few hours, i hurt absolutely everywhere from my feet to my neck, i cant paint anymore which i did for a living at one time i can't be bothered to do anything half the time its too much effort, my house is dirty to how i like it which frustrates me loads. My family have been good but because it started to get better and now its all flared up again i just feel they dont understand which i see is hard for them but they are used to me doing most things for them and now i need the help i just feel let down had a few words with hubby last few days he is really wonderful but i just feel that although they know wot u have and that it wont go they think u should beover it in a few weeks i don't know maybe its me. he comes home from work and im always on the bed resting it must get on their nerves it does me! i sometimes feel that they dont know how painful it is for me and maybe they would if i was in hospital or something i dont know perhaps im feeling sorry for myself know they all love me and they are teenagers but just feel they could help me more.Does anyone eles have the same sort of problems maybe i shouldnt rant about it on here i just feel really down at the moment sorry. well i got my next appointment through for the rhummy as he wanted to see me in 2 months rather than 4 so ive go to go oct 9th not heard a word from OT but can't see the point as still very swollen in hand i still cant move middle finger after 3 months worryed ill never bend it again. Think i'm gonna get my anti depressants put up dont feel they are doing much at the moment gonna have a word about the meds to the rhummy as well been on them 4 months nearly is this as good as it gets? i hope not. Anyway all u lovely people im so sorry for my moan moan moan and i hope u are feeling ok and not in too much pain bless u all for listening take care xx
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Date: 24.09.2009
From: val h :-)

Subject: Re: feeling really down

so glad u came on and told thought things not going to well i dont know if haveing a few better days helps as u feel so down when arther gets his teeth in again. i have things mild but even so some days dont even wash dishes before work as would not have enrgy to go if did and full of painkillers most of time just to do basics. so can understand where u coming from and feel for u make sure rhummy knows how bad things r. give them all a job explain before hand things getting to much for u and u need help. my lads put there own washing in basket take back up stairs also iron most of there stuff as i stopped doing it when feet were bad. never go in there rooms both in there twentys and only make them one meal most days do others them selves so sit them down one at a time and ask for help do not expect teenagers to understand without being told they do not good luck hope rhummy helps u need it things can not go on this way u need a life girl just want to come and hug u but would not get half way there with out having to have a nap lol
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Date: 24.09.2009
From: Nora

Subject: Re: feeling really down

Della - Sorry you're feeling so crap at the moment but this 'arthur' is a bit like a roller coaster and you prob. will rise up again soon.
It's good to have a bit of a moan and get it off your chest though isn't it?
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Date: 24.09.2009
From: Della

Subject: Re: feeling really down

Thankyou all for the kind messages hubby been really sweet tonight i feel a bit guilty now lol anyway will try and lift my mood i hate feeling like this take care everyone xx
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Date: 25.09.2009
From: val h :-)

Subject: Re: feeling really down

do not feel guilty it all part of the process of getting your head around it so just forgive your self and get on with things as best u can i know how hard and frustrating it can be so be nice to your self things will get better just hang in there girl
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Date: 25.09.2009
From: jill

Subject: Re: feeling really down

Dellllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa xxx listen everything u typed in the post, is hopw most of us feel.... i can get up in morn and after 20 mins i want to go back to bed.... also u know when u go rest on the bed, I feel crap when my teens come in and fellla....i feel as u do, i promise I do, but that doesnt help U does it.... it makes us feel like failures doenst it...cos as u said, one day we can do it, most others we cant, and when we get a good spell, they think its all over and your better again, and b4 u know it, ya unwell.....U do need to talk to the tennnagers like Val said(shes so goood with giving out info) but shes right....thnak god u have a lovely hubbby....but remember, telling him is the key....u cld perhaps say" having a fragile day today, wont do much at mo, body needs a rest" sonething like that.....also when u go on 9th.PLEASE take hubby, and say to the rhummy, fatigue is terrrilbe, and let him explain to hubby how u will feel....say in from of hubby to thummy " I feel so bad, unfair on family etc, and makes U Feel Worse") im sure yiuyr rhummy will say to hubby that its normal.....hubby will always understand that....rest ok....im pretty sure they will be putting u on the best meds for u ok.... seems u need them.... by the way, U arnt ever Moaning, u r lufffly ok.... we r here for u always xxxx
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Date: 28.09.2009
From: lynh

Subject: Re: feeling really down

Oh guys, so grateful that others feel as i do. I've always been the 'coper' not just for the family (accepted) but also for all sorts of other people. Just this weekend i was expected to cook for 20 and help prepare a buffet. Yes i did and am now suffering, someone teach me how to say NO!
Had to retire from work this year and am now feeling as if i have no role.
Also have to see ortho this week for rubbishy knee assessment.

Good thoughts to all
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Date: 29.09.2009
From: jill

Subject: Re: feeling really down

LYNH hi good luck with that knee appointment...think we all feel like a failure with no proper role..... sometimes I can barely be botherd to cook for kids, they have to help tho....life is hard t times....goood luck ok x
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Date: 29.09.2009
From: Della

Subject: Re: feeling really down

Hi Jill, Lynn,Val and all u other lovely people well had a few bad days still so tired but was in pieces a bit yesterday as my middle daughters fiancee is out in afghan and he phoned yesterday and broke the news that he is lucky to be alive his truck he was in got blown up they thought he had broke his back thank god hes ok just really shook up and waiting to hear if he is going to come home. So as u can imagine had a really crap dau yesterday with all the stress as i had to break it to my daughter as he couldnt get hold of her u can imagine how it felt. Anyway just wanted to thank you all for the kind words and thats a good idea jill i will take him with me if i can speak soon xxxxx
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Date: 29.09.2009
From: jill

Subject: Re: feeling really down

((((((((((DELLLA AND FAMILY)))))) hugd and thoughts for u all.......god knows how u cope with that terrrible news, is he coming Home?? get him home xxxxx
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Date: 29.09.2009
From: Nicola

Subject: Re: feeling really down

Hi everyone, I was diagnosed when I was 16 and now at 40 im still prone to having a few up and down days. People I meet think Im a really positive person but im really not all the time. I so understand those achy tired days and how bed seems to be your best friend. I keep getting dead legs when Im trying to sleep now !! Driving me mad! I realise there are people who are far worse of than me but sometimes I could cry with the pain or when you sometimes drop something your carrying. I feel like an idiot and everyone looks at you!! I was at work in a meeting and guy shook my hand and squeezed. I passed out! NIGHTMARE!Its quite funny looking back but at the time I was absolutely mortified!! So I think your entitled to feel down, moan and feel a bit sorry for yourself. Your obviously a caring person and I hope things get better for you Della!! Lots of love and hugs xxx
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Date: 29.09.2009
From: jill

Subject: Re: feeling really down

My hips at nite get kinda Numb but Hurt at same time....hands go numb, so do feet!! mainly tips of toes I guess!... sleeeplessss most nites, has enuff....tired a lot on those type of nites....had probs since i was 15, bad back etc....but real pain began after my first baby!...oh well....I have my goood days and my very bad, we r all in same rocky boat....im existing but not living as best as i want....stay welll everyone xx
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Date: 01.10.2009
From: Della

Subject: Re: feeling really down

Hi Nicola thankyou so much for the kind words and also you Jill it is really comforting to come on when we feel down and then get a reply from you lovely people when you are also hurting yourselves but u all understand the most so thankyou from my heart. i hope all is well with you all and are keeping well take care xx
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Date: 01.10.2009
From: Sas

Subject: Re: feeling really down

Hi Della
Hope you are feeling a bit better now.
I have 2 boys aged 16 & 13. When I was having a bad time with my hands in the end of July (beg school hols..) Just sat the boys down explained basically my hands weren't working 16 yr old now empties the dishwasher, changes his own bed, does the lunch boxes, put his own ironing away 13 yr old has become a dab hand at peeling and chopping veg and he always runs upstairs when i forget things LOL. They are be no means perfect but have continued with these chores even when my hands are better!
Take care (((hugs)))
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Date: 04.10.2009
From: lynh

Subject: Re: feeling really down

So so tired today, still feeling useful and with very purpose.

Knee consultancy showed some bone damage and probable cartilage tear. MRI on Nov 6th to give indicators for next move.

Love to all, lets remember we're not alone, even when we feel like we are. XXX
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Date: 04.10.2009
From: val h :-)

Subject: Re: feeling really down

hi all sorry not been around much sorry for that but been bit yuk lol. any way no one on here is usless as we could not manage with out each other i am new to all this and so need all of u to give me kick up u know where from time to time and yes u all to nag me so thankyou all. have packed today know it bit early but not at work to day so could go back to bed after . not everything but worst of it see i am trying to plan ahead and take it easy when can. della u need more help those meds not enough i know it feels like u r giving in to arther and i know u want control of your life again but give it time girl u not been bad long (same as me) and it takes them a while to get things sorted, was nearly in tears yesterday am as forgot to take any pain meds with me lol. boss said sit down but as i told her hurts more when i sit than when i wander around and lean on things (good job sats quiet day) so was in mess when i got home as popped in butchers while in town so not to good today and can not wait till tue to get some answers taking oh with me so he can remember what they say lol
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Date: 04.10.2009
From: jill

Subject: Re: feeling really down

Lyhn, goood luck ok....they might do an artharoscopy, where they wash out the knee etc.... the MRI will defffo give indicator as to their next move....please keeep us informed...goood luck sweetie xxx


Valipops....ur a dark horse u r....(((((hugs 4 u)))) all along u have been telling us ya ok.... but really u have beeen struggggling more than we all realised..... U know we r here for u ok.... and im so glad that Oh is going with u sweetie, cos U will Need him to be your second pair of Lugholes(ears LOL0)...... dont feeel rushed when ur in there, U have waitied so long for an appt, so make sure U say everything U neeed to...remember to tell then val that U cant take it anymolre, U have had enuff, your life IS NOT the same anymore etc.... Pile it on, telll him everyday is Diabolical ok....and for u it is, so U wont be exagerating ....U Must get it acrosss that its bad, and get OH to say summat to...I always take my Mic and he will Butt in and tell rhummy how bad im suffering, they take it seriously......... if ya get the chance, ask about the MTX ..methtrexate etc.... meanwhile, u rest ujp, eat well, and we r here 4 u...u have my mobile...txt me when ya need to ok xxxx
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Date: 04.10.2009
From: val h :-)

Subject: Re: feeling really down

thanks girl do not message me from sat am for a weel or will cost u more lol no money on my phone again dont know where it goes will top it up tomorrow sat with feet up pillows behind back and trying to think what to eat lol. for some strange reason fancying sausage rolls (do not normally eat them) but can not be bothered to make any lol. still got life much easier than most of u take care all look after your selves
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Date: 04.10.2009
From: jill

Subject: Re: feeling really down

LOL ya right there , wont text yu from sat lol....its summat like 60p a text lolol
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Date: 04.10.2009
From: Sas

Subject: Re: feeling really down

That's the point isn't though we are all "suffering" but are hear to listen and support each other. I agree with Jill Val you are a dark horse!! Take Care (((hug)))x

Ps I love this forum!!
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Date: 05.10.2009
From: Jill

Subject: Re: feeling really down

Me too Sas, cos on here i can be daft lol..... can cry, cos my kid is driving me mental...correction, hes made me mental....I can be helpful, whick I like trying to do, hopefully its the correct advice, if its not, then i TYPED FOR NUFFFING lol.....keeps me occupied, being on here.....and I realise so many peeps r suffering and its Not fair..... my hips ok today....but my joints in left hand fingers, is a joke.... Thank god im right handed or id have trubble in the loo, if u get what I mean....hehehehaheha.... ok will keep info to a minimum... will let yu all visual instead lololol..... today kid not gone back to skool, now a prisoner in my own home....its raining and the dogs stink!! they stay in the kitchen which is huge, but usually they stay out side in nice weather, now it s a smelly stinky quagmire! that correct spelling ? lol...wont ask val cos shes fick like me LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.....hehehe can pick on val cos she luffs me (((huggles))) anyway, apart from fireowrks, and Crimbo OMG tis the season to be jolly tralllalalalalallala....ok got that outtta the way...I have a lot going on...have CPN seeing me tomoz, cos my son made me mental....shes also a complimentary therapist, so shld be helpful, she says I need respite...she will give me as much help as poss, but guess what? son will be here, cos he wont go tomoz either!!!! cant shut his door coz he pulled it offf the hinges and the arcatrave is looose!!!3rd dooor hes done that too!!.....anyway got lots meetings regards him and I cant wait until I appear in court!!!! I will have my say....I also have a diary with every event that He causes thats bad....i.e. days offf, abuse just becos I tell him its bed time, or skool etc.... its all written down on paprer...plus I was the Instigator in getting all these agencies involved....I will be in the clear as a goood parent, becos I am.... anyway, sorry gals, offf topic I know...... but wow is my life stresssful or wot!!....hope ya all have fun today and stay strong....xx
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Date: 07.10.2009
From: Amber

Subject: Re: feeling really down

hello to you all, just joining you today---- having a bad time with oa in spine and what it does to the rest of me. Sun is out and i'm stuck indoors. Only getting 2hrs of sleep at a time -- feel like a yo-yo in and out of bed lol Sure there are lots of you who know how I feel. Thats it for now, hope all of you feel a bit better soon ----- can hear echo echo echo--- ohh you are calling back to me , will join you again . L 2 all
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Date: 07.10.2009
From: val h :-)

Subject: Re: feeling really down

hi amber sorry u suffering it awfull when u wake every couple of hours the only good thing is u not as stiff when u get up lol. find when i do sleep through so stiff can not move for ages after i get up lol got oa in hip hands feet shoulder ect well think so went to rhummy yesterday so waiting for blood test results back lol.((((big hug)))) for next time u awake in night as it so lonely
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Date: 07.10.2009
From: Amber

Subject: Re: feeling really down

hi val h :-) thanks for reply, yeah i got the stiffness in same places - and have trouble getting going - not sure if days go fast or slow sea-sawing between getting going and stopping again lol lol. Does the weather make it worse ? I seem to freeze up so I am walking zombie style !!! when it really damp and wet and cold. Ohh what a miserable person I am to join you all. Hope you will be cheering me up - and I can raise a laugh or two for all you people. L 2 all
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Date: 07.10.2009
From: val h :-)

Subject: Re: feeling really down

we would love that always feel better for a smile and yes the damp makes me ache worse do not know about the others jill not well so gone back to bed lynn been off it as well so could be the weather got to go work at 1 lol good job do afternoons gives me time to get going lol
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Date: 07.10.2009
From: jill

Subject: Re: feeling really down

Amber hi there, U r the Amber that was in not so long ago wernt u?? Im so sorry to hear ya feeling like an elephant has crushed ya bones, im in pain today with back and hip, tomoz be sumat else.... weahter is Horrible, plus its the Grey sky that makes ua feeel crap! QAmber, with regards your spine, have they told U that they can do any thing for it?? do u get physio? any help at all?? meds etc?? lots qwessys I know, hope U can type them all back to us to read, its informative u c, U are not a miserable person in here ok...becos we R allowed to be how we feel..... so doenst count lol....U can be anything U want to be in here, we will NOT Judge, honest....all of us try and get to know one another, the more u come in, the more u will feel the support, that part is important....so that U do not feel alone..... Val does the Night shift in here lolol....I like U have a yo-yo sleep pattern, but I cant be bothered to get up and come on line, fat rooo tired, but Val has a laptop, and im sure she has it on her lap in bed!! lol, must find out from her...... I read at night, but fall aslepp after a page, then wake up again read two pages and back to sleep again...Nitemare!! anyway dont stay away too long, Forum needs more of us to keep us allllll going

take care love Jill x
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Date: 07.10.2009
From: Amber

Subject: Re: feeling really down

Hi Jill,good to hear from you. I just joined today, hey you right about the elephant -- had not thort of that,made me lol. I have meds ,over the years lots of physio etc, use elbow crutches to get about--dem are a bit of bug. but keep me upright !!! Woke up this morning to a beautiful day but it is changing now - an darn it I just managed to get a bit of washing out. Way it goes. I have my laptop on a desk, can't sit with it on my knees, it is always close to me tho. I new to web so keep getting things wrong, but it is a great way to have some company. I will be looking in here , do you just open up a topic, follow someone else, how does it go??? Yeah I one for the questions too. Look after yourself L 2 all Amber
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Date: 07.10.2009
From: jill

Subject: Re: feeling really down

Hi Amber, if U want to begin a specif topic, or say something that is importnat to U, U can start a new topic......or what else U can do, is come into the message board page(forum) and read anyhting U want...U will c my name a lot, it also tells u how many postings that a topic has aquired.... if u say click on my name, u can see all previous postings and the current one i sent, U can add to it and it will automatically go in as a posting, like the one U replied to Val...... U can come in here and Moan, whinge, scream etc etc..... we r here for everyone, we All supprt one another, respect is all we ask of everyone...... we get the Odd Idiot in here, but they dont stay long, but the genuine memebers r amazzzzzzzzing!! so stay on board, and we can help get ya thru ya probs, even gettting this all offf ya chest WILL help U..... plus U can have input in someones elses Life, pretty amazing huh? U will get hang of it, and welcome anytime, day or night..... u will get to see the regulars that come in daily........ goood luck and best wishes.... any worried at all, come tell us, hopefully we can put ya mind at rest, or just do what u feeel....often we talk about stuff unrelated to the dreaded ARTHA!!!! u will c lolol...... we do have fun.... just eait and hear my Singing lolol love Jill x
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