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Date: 28.11.2013
From: Debbie

Subject: Needing a hug

Hi everyone, not been on for a while , I have been trying for years to get back into work, anyway, got my dream office job, but it was meant to be part time, but when I went for the interview it was changed to full time, but optimistically , I thought I was up for it...I lasted 3 days!! I feel such a failure , by 2pm I was flagging and struggling with pain in areas that dont usually hurt. I spoke to my manager and explained the situation, she was very angry that I hadn't mentioned my athritis at the interview, I honestly didn't think to mention it, and no one asked me , I thought if I am sat all day I would be fine, but yesterday I was shunned by other work colleagues and felt so bad that I have decided not to go back, people don't understand this illness, because you look ok on the outside they don't see your illness. I am going to be starting on Golimumab in the next couple of weeks, self injecting, hopefully this will help my pain and reduce the swelling in my joints ( I have psoriatic athritis, but have never had psoriasis)
So sat here feeling I have let others down by not being able to manage a full days work!
I had a steroid injection and an anti inflammatory injection 2 weeks ago and felt fabulous..almost pain free, but it has worn off now, which is a shame as I felt I could take on the world and win! Now I am tired and upset that this disease is stopping me from working!
Anyway thanks for reading my moan....I know you guys will understand x
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Date: 28.11.2013
From: Emm

Subject: Re: Needing a hug

Oh Debbie, I am so sorry to hear your story.
I do feel for you, I know we just want to be 'Normal'.
I am early retired now but remember being younger and finding myself in the same position, I didn't tell a particular employer and after a couple of days was approached just like you but in my case they kept me and I was there quite a while.

I did not do that again and always mentioned my RA and was always employed.

If you go to the jobcentre and tell them you need part time work and that you are ill, they have special people designated to finding disabled people training and work.

They are also bound to get appliances e.g. Special chairs etc to help you to work.
Unless this has changed since I left work.

I found in the end owning up to having an illness helped and you don't have the stress of trying to soldier on pretending you are OK when you are not.

I have a relative with RA who works for the NHS in a hospital in admin and they are so supportive of her. That is a good place to work and usually are part time jobs.

I am sending you a big hug and letting you know you are not alone in your struggles.

Good luck with your new medication and keep posting.

Lots of love Emm x
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Date: 28.11.2013
From: Debbie

Subject: Re: Needing a hug

Thanks Emm, it's my own fault in a way, it was suppose to be part time, which was what I wanted, but it seemed such a good job and I had been trying for 2 years to get one that I thought I could manage, lesson learned!
I do voluntary work so I will go back to that, I can rest when I need to and I enjoy it.
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Date: 28.11.2013
From: willis

Subject: Re: Needing a hug

Hi Debbie
you are not a failure in not coping with full time job. i've recently stopped working for different circumstances and when i think about it now, i don't know how i got through the week working full time.
if i do one day i need the next two to recover.
even though you didn't tell them at interview they should have listened and helped when they did find out. their loss.
i hope you feel better soon and that the new meds help you
big hugs to you xx
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Date: 28.11.2013
From: rhona

Subject: Re: Needing a hug

Hi Debbie,

I am sorry it didn't work out for you. Perhaps it is for the best though. Would you really want to work with people like that? They certainly don't sound very nice people if they shunned you.

Don't blame yourself, it is not your fault you have RA.

Hugs xx
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Date: 01.12.2013
From: Denise

Subject: Re: Needing a hug

Hi Debbie

Hugs, hugs and more hugs.

Know only too well how you must be feeling. I ditched the job cos I knew in my heart of hearts I just couldn't give it my all. No benefits so that only leads to financial stress. But you are so right about looking okay on the outside. I am beginning to wonder why this nasty disease is called rheumatoid ARTHRITIS cos it is so misunderstood by those that don't suffer. Oh, yep, just a few aches and pains, we all get them !!! Ha ha

I have just had a two week course of steroids before I go back to the consultant for second tnf assessment, but now realise how crap I had been feeling since coming off them in the summer.

So now the question which anti tnf. Would love to ditch the mtx.

Hey ho, we soldier on. xxx
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