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Date: 19.11.2011
From: Kim

Subject: Fed up having to explain myself

I getting so fed up with having to explain to people why some days I can do more than others. I feel like people look atme sometimes like im a complete fraud! I have ra and some days I cant move for the pain and am totally wiped out and other days I can walk with crutches and sometime wih no crutches at all for short distances but when I try to explain this to people they look at me like im insane. I wish they could see me when the pain is so bad im literally trying not to scream as feel like someone is tearing my nerves out one by one.
I have arthritis in my neck, shouldres, elbows, wrists, hands, hip, knees, ankles and feet and feel like wearing a big sign explaining to people!
Im a fighter and am determined to try and get as well as I can and get the most out of life. Im only 33 and have two young kids and a supportive husband but sometimes feel the rest of the world is against me. Iv lost so may friends as they dont understand why I cant go out as much or drive and see them. It would be good to hear from people who are in similair situations
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Date: 19.11.2011
From: Rich

Subject: Re: Fed up having to explain myself

Hi Kim. I know how you feel. Its the same for me at work. I had an issue at work this week where I was asked to lift a few items from one place to another, now most of us will always do whatever we`re asked because we don`t want to draw attention to ourselves or don`t want to complain so I got on with it knowing it would leave me achey but ok as it was only a few items. Unfortunately a bloke who is always complaining about me came along and asked why I can lift objects now, but can`t do certain jobs that require lifting all the time. Its impossible to explain to him that if I was to do it all the time, I`d end up having to phone in sick because I wouldn`t be able to move but people are very fickle and nobody like to think that someone else is having an easy life. I wish I had the power to say I`ll trade, they can have my arthritis and light duties and I`ll do the lifting job and see how long they last knowing the reality of it.
Just remember that everyone on this forum, your rheumy team and family are all on your side and your real friends will stick by you and you definatly ain`t a fraud. Hope things get better for you. Rich
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Date: 19.11.2011
From: Tom H

Subject: Re: Fed up having to explain myself

Hi guys, I think we all feel that way sometime. I find quite a good thing to do is to send links to threads like these to show that there are other people out there suffering the same way.
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Date: 19.11.2011
From: Kim

Subject: Re: Fed up having to explain myself

Thanks for that Tom, normally it doesnt bother me but just now and again it really annoys me!
You are right though the people that matter understand and that's all that is important.
What a nightmare for you at work, sods law that the one person who has it in for you would come along and see you doing that!
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Date: 19.11.2011
From: Kim

Subject: Re: Fed up having to explain myself

Oops sorry that should have been to Rich!
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Date: 20.11.2011
From: lynnr

Subject: Re: Fed up having to explain myself

Hi Kim I know how u feel I have pa and have it in bout everywhere and like u ppl wonder how on the odd day u seem better they don't understand I am 35 and have 3 kids and life is a struggle as u will know only 2 well x
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Date: 27.11.2011
From: michala

Subject: Re: Fed up having to explain myself

Know the feeling I'm 39 with 3 almost adult children got ra in feet ankles knees hips spine hands wrist elbows, and some days are easy others are extremly difficult and can from one to the other overnight
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Date: 03.12.2011
From: Claire

Subject: Re: Fed up having to explain myself

I don't post on here very often but this caught my attention... I completely understand how frustrating life can be. I've had ra since the age of two but now at the age of 23 am starting to realise how ignorant people can be! I work part time (36 hours) as a bus driver as i've found this is something i can do even on a bad day as most of our buses are automatic, what the other drivers and public dont seem to understand is that even though i only do three days a week the rest of the time i spend sleeping or trying to do housework and general jobs. My partner and i live together with no children and he is very supportive but i find it hard to explain sometimes that no i couldnt do the list of jobs i needed to. My brain works fine, i know what needs to be done but my body has other ideas...
I hope that people that dont understand never have to suffer with it but sometimes i wish for one day they could be in my shoes!
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Date: 04.12.2011
From: bsk

Subject: Re: Fed up having to explain myself

Yeah! I know what you mean Claire! Had a friend telling me yesterday that I should have taken up an opportunity that was offered to me - it would have involved quite a lot of physical work. I reminded him that I've been ill most of the year, either not able to walk or use my hands or down with one infection or another. This after we had driven through the most appalling traffic to go out because I couldn't use public transport as my knee is so bad! Drives me up the wall!
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Date: 04.12.2011
From: marlene

Subject: Re: Fed up having to explain myself

Everyone is full of why don't you, what if, i know this person, or i was told this. Well why don't you listen to what we are telling you some days are not too bad others are just awful. All the so called work mates who seem to have a problem with the bosses that do try to make life a bit easier for us should be ashamed of themselves. Try leaving leaflets from the rhumy departments for them to read. I have OA but since being on this forum i have learned a lot about all the different forms of arthritis. What I do know is we have one thing in common Pain!!!!! Until you have it no one could possibly understand, but a little bit of compassions cost nothing. I say to all of you its not your problem but theirs. When they are rude or bullying or passing judgement just smile and walk away that usually leaves them wondering LOL. Take Care All
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Date: 11.12.2011
From: sandy

Subject: Re: Fed up having to explain myself

hi everyone im new to this but i couldnt be more frustrated i have rhematoid and psoriatic it affects all of my joints and like you most days are chronic but you get some days when although still in pain you can manage a bit better i also have asthme and sleep apoea so get bout 3 hours a night ! ive just been told my benefits are being taken off me following a medical i had (obviously was a good day for me to get there!), i cant believe it i dont know where to turn most of the week im incapable of anything so i cant work my psoriasis has kicked off cos of the stress any advice? im sick of trying to explain that some days are better than others!
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