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Date: 01.11.2011
From: laura

Subject: feel so alone

hi im just so fed up sick of being in pain my right knee is so bad i cant put it fully on floor its so annoying cos at work it causes havoc with what i can and cant do which i find very frustrating i have a very annoying colleague at work who seems to delight in telling me my meds wont work and rheumatologists dont know what they are doing and i need to exercise more. im going to rheumatology on thursday afternoon as an emergency cos my cortisone injection failed work are supportive and i do give as good as i get with my stupid colleague i was ment to finsh at 4pm today but was asked to stay til five which i said ok to my colleague blurted out infrontn of my boss that i should be doing long days my manager did say no as i cant do them i have just arrived home told my mum and she said why do i let this person get to me i try not to but its so hard
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Date: 01.11.2011
From: davina

Subject: Re: feel so alone

hi laura so sorry your knee is so bad hope the rheumy can help.

if i was you i would tell the woman to go and look up about arthritis because she knows nothing about it.
people like her make my blood boil because they see us struggle and in pain then want to put there input in which is crap most of the time.
if its not bad enough for us already not being able to do things like we did before the arthritis become active.

i'm at the rheumy on Thursday so we'll see what they can do. take care.x
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Date: 01.11.2011
From: rhona

Subject: Re: feel so alone

hi laura, i would tell this woman if she can't say anything helpful then not to say anything at all, i know it's hard not to get upset but that won't help your condition so try not to let her bother you. I to have a swollen knee and foot and know how difficult it is, my last injection also failed. good luck on thursday. x
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Date: 01.11.2011
From: marlene

Subject: Re: feel so alone

Hi Laura, treat this co worker with the contempt she deserves. Try not to rise to her, if you just smile at her instead of letting her see she upsets you, she will be fuming inside. Bully springs to mind and I cannot abide this sort of person. You are worth a hundred of her. Just keep smiling and I bet her stupid comments will soon stop. I hope you get some help with your knee soon. Take Care X
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Date: 09.11.2011
From: daniel

Subject: Re: feel so alone

I definitely can relate to you on this topic. I worked as a waiter for 8 years before I was diagnosed with RA. When I tried to explain why I was having so much pain in my ankles it fell on deaf ears. Coworkers who I thought were my friends were unsympathetic and some even called me a liar...as if I would WANT to hobble around for a 10 hour shift with swollen ankles. Don't worry about these types of people because karma's a b*tch and EVERYONE gets sick. She will realize her wrongs when she developes ARTHRITIS in old age. Also, there's nothing wrong with talking to your manager and explaining that the person is harassing you and you would like them not to speak about your medical condition. I hope this helps.
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Date: 09.11.2011
From: Mike

Subject: Re: feel so alone

Hi Laura, I've had RA for about 4 years now and I used to work in a warehouse as a fork lift truck opperater and I got loads of abuse from the rest of the guys. Its hard I know but try not to let it get you down these people are idiots with no clue what they are talking about. I hope your knee improves soon.
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Date: 10.11.2011
From: Dilizjo

Subject: Re: feel so alone

Hiya Laura, Everyone has good points in their posts, this person in a way should be pitied because somewhere deep down she has some insecurities of her own which she appears to be covering up by in Marlene's words 'Bullying' you.
My advice to you is to totally blank her and her comments as much as you can without it affecting your job. Your boss has in a way told her to shut up by confirming that you cannot do long days, so they appear to be empathetic to your situation.
2 things to think about when she does it again is 'There but for the grace of God go you lady' and envisage her in the funniest way you can, it will bring a smile to your face, then walk away.... that she will find very hard to deal with and once she sees that she is not upsetting you she'll get bored and move on.
take care and have fun xx
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Date: 10.11.2011
From: bsk

Subject: Re: feel so alone

good advice from peeps as usual! Hard to ignore comments but remember, you know your condition better than anyone else. I have a neighbour who kept telling me I should exercise when my knee was really swollen, contrary to what the doctors said. Fat lot you know, I thought! Then he kept asking me if I am better. Last time I told him 'I'm not going to get better, I have a long term condition, so please stop asking.' That shut him up lol!

Ask your colleague where she trained as a rheumatologist. That should do it!
best wishes.
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Date: 11.11.2011
From: val

Subject: Re: feel so alone

I agree with all the replies you have had. It is hard and only we know what it is like living with RA. Most people I work with are great about it but one person actually makes me feel guilty for having it, not being able to do everything I used to. On occassion I have made myself worse as I have tried to ignore it and do everything, just to keep her on side. I finally realised I wasn't do myself any favours and on Monday she is being moved to a different dept. None of us want to be a burden, we haven't asked for RA but we have got to learn to live with it. My employers are getting me an appointment with Occupational Health. They say it is as much for them as it is for me. After assessment they will know what I can and can't do and if they are expecting me to do things I can't. It may also come out that I need more time to do things. My employers have installed Dragon Naturally Speaking onto my laptop and it has been a huge help for those long reports. So don't give up and, as my friends and I say, eep your chins up".
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