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Date: 05.05.2011
From: mads

Subject: so weary of it all

Feel different today - in work but tired, disinterested and just feel like crying, every movement is painful from shoulders to elbow to legs, feel a bit sick and very scared now of the reality of RA. I have deterioriated physically in the last two weeks so that i can barely walk. Is this just a bad day, do you all get like this? I am sick of putting a brave face. Very pxxxxx off.
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Date: 05.05.2011
From: marlene

Subject: Re: so weary of it all

bless you mads you sound like you might need a bit of you time, why not take a few days off (easier said than done) you sound exhausted to me, no wonder you feel depressed. I get days when just looking at the ironing can reduce me to tears blubbing why doesnt anyone understand? I suffer with OA all over had a couple of bone ops, but i dont claim to understand how all of you with RA feel, i can sort of imagine.Well i am sendig you my best wishes and hope you feel a little better soon. X
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Date: 05.05.2011
From: Patricia

Subject: Re: so weary of it all

Oh dear mads. My heart goes out to you. You are certainly not alone in feeling like this. I think all of you who are still managing to work and those looking after children are quite remarkable to do so whilst having this awful illness. Not sure what medications you are on? Perhaps you need your pain relief adjusting for the moment until the Consultant can get your RA under control. I have to say I was diagnosed a year ago and I couldn't walk at all. Was completely bed bound and in excruciating agony. It seems as though RA is very unpredictable. Every day can be different and you are probably trying to be very brave for everyone else and this takes it's toll mads. You can't be in chronic pain as you are and feel upbeat. Please talk to your doc and try to get extra pain relief and a rest at the weekend if at all possible :-). Let me know how you are getting on. Take care....x
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Date: 05.05.2011
From: mads

Subject: Re:

och thank you, your support is received with gratitude - this week is trying - i have two young girls 10 and 6, and a husband and i do feel so useless! It really annoys me that i get them to butter their own toast - (i know they should probably be doing it anyway) and i can't tie their hair up - enough of my complaining - i am on diclofenac and codeine but i go on to metx tomorrow had to delay because of an infection so it will probably be much better soon. thank you
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Date: 05.05.2011
From: cookie

Subject: Re: so weary of it all

Oh mads i think we may have all had times like this ive just this week gone back to work after a few months off and now realise how bad things were before i went off sick. Sometime you just need a break and some tlc xxxx
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Date: 05.05.2011
From: Gaynor

Subject: Re: so weary of it all

Hey Mads. Hope you are doing a bit better today hon. You really are not alone in going down into the doldrums. This disease gets the better of all us sometimes. The secret is to learn to be kind to yourself and not feel guilty when you can't do something because of pain levels. I haven't had RA for that long - but I've realised that there are good days and there are bad days, and you have to take them as they come. Can I just put my professional hat on and say that the feelings you are describing sound very much like reactive depression. Having to deal with chronic pain often does result in people experiencing depression. This is not a sign of weakness at all. You are going through a hell of a lot right now. I agree with the others. Speak with your GP. Tell him/her how you are feeling. Get some good old kick ass pain relief and perhaps your GP will prescribe some antidepressants to stabilise your mood a bit. Good luck with it all. We are here if you need to vent or just need encouragement.
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Date: 06.05.2011
From: mads

Subject: Re: so weary of it all

ahh thank you Gaynor. you know you could be right - i find it hard to express what is going on - getting really resentful and angry with my family cosi still have to be a mother,wife, sister and mother. In work i am all bright eyed and busy tailed laughing and taking the piss out of myself as our client group are so much worse off and it seems to me lame to complain. And then when i am on my own or on the forum i am on the verge of tears, could i cope with yet more medication. Just started my metx tonight - all scared in case i have side effects. Thanks for listening and i value your opinion.
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Date: 06.05.2011
From: marlene

Subject: Re: so weary of it all

Mads just read your new post. Hope your new meds helps you real soon. Bless you!! Take care.
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Date: 09.05.2011
From: Dilizjo

Subject: Re: so weary of it all

hi Mads and a big HUG I can fully empathise with the way you are feeling and find these forums a great shoulder to lean on:)
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