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Date: 16.11.2010
From: AJ

Subject: does anyone else feel like a fraud?

I was diagnosed with RA 7 years ago and have had my ups and downs but always been able to cope and get on with life and work. But the last 14 months things have changed dramatically. I have had to give up work and really struggle to do the basice things in life, like going upstairs for the loo, lifting a kettle for a drink and as for sleeping a whole night that just never happens. But my real problem is in my head. I feel lazy, I feel like a fraud,that somehow if i tried harder I would be able to beat it, but i never can. Is this just me?
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Date: 16.11.2010
From: Lorraine

Subject: Re: does anyone else feel like a fraud?

Iknow just what you mean had RA for 8 years having a really bad time with flare ups since last December, decided to put in for DLA as my doctor said i should have it but i feel such a fraud ! i got turned down and have a tribunal this December if i have a good day i think i don't deserve to apply for it .i don't know what i am going to be like at the hearing as i don't like telling people just how bad i feel and am i always play it down
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Date: 20.11.2010
From: Angela

Subject: Re: does anyone else feel like a fraud?

I am sure this is a very common feeling for many of us with RA.
It sometimes takes someone who knows you well or a partner to point out to you how different you are now from before the disease., because we adapt a lot, and take our disabilities for granted without realising.
Well I do anyway.
Hope this helps.
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Date: 20.11.2010
From: AJ

Subject: Re: does anyone else feel like a fraud?

Thank you so much for taking the trouble to reply. I just want to be normal again. I want to be able to clean my house, to do the ironing to cook a meal. I can remember complaining that i had to do the ironing and now its something i would love to be able to do. My husband is wonderful and just tells me to rest, to take it easy and he does such a lot for me and i definitely have a lot to be grateful for but that doesnt take away from how hard life can be when you have this horrible insidious disease.
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Date: 04.12.2010
From: dolly

Subject: Re: does anyone else feel like a fraud?

hi AJ. i'm 56 and i've had ra for 41 yrs. there is nothing fraudulent about this disease. it took alot of time to figure out which drugs would work for me. everyone is different. i've learned over the years what i can and can't do and how. it takes me at least as twice as long to get house chores done. if i push myself i really pay for it for two or three days. i don't know what it's like to be without pain. after 41 yrs. it starts to feel "normal". sounds silly but i really don't know, it's something i actually got used to. but i've been told if the ra is caught early you will not deteriorate and deform like i did. they didn't have the ra drugs that they have today. my number one advice would be as keep the inflamation away with good anti-inflamation drugs that work for you, that will keep the deforming away and also may make the ra go into remission. yes it is possible to make the ra go into remission. take care now. talk soon. dolly.
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Date: 04.12.2010
From: kazzie

Subject: Re: does anyone else feel like a fraud?

hi i agree with this when am havin a ok day and can actually go a walk round the shope ect i think am not that bad but then like aj said i dont do any housework any ironin my mum been doin that and when i have a bad day which at the moment is 5 out of 7 i think omg but its people which makes me think like this if people come and see me they say oh you look ok,and i think yes cause am sat here i dont have a social life anymore but am thinkin postive and goin beat it ,but not today cause cant walk with pain lol
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Date: 04.12.2010
From: dolly

Subject: Re: does anyone else feel like a fraud?

yes angela!! that's avery good and crucial point about having a partner or someone that knows you very well. i've been married for 20 yrs and have been together for 22. my husband remembers alot more things than i do when it comes to how i was doing last month or last year or how well a certain medication helped or not. all the past years having ra seem the same. you don't remember how many bad days or good days you've had, well i don't anyway because the majority of them seem same old, same old. you take care now. dolly
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Date: 04.12.2010
From: dolly

Subject: Re: does anyone else feel like a fraud?

hi lorraine. i've had RA fir 41 yrs, and i can tell you, DO NOT play it down. you tell them everything about your "bad days" and very little about your good days. you tell them there aren't many good days. RA does not go away. thi is the rest of your life. i'm not trying to put a damper on your day, i want you to get all the help you can get whether it be group support, financial support any kind of support. you take now. dolly
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Date: 04.12.2010
From: dolly

Subject: Re: does anyone else feel like a fraud?

hi again lorraine, the end of my post is suppose to read you take care now, not you take now . sorry, i'm still really new at this computer stuff. talk soon.
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