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Date: 01.09.2010
From: katknapp

Subject: Feeling very low

im feeling so low and tearful at the moment just nothing but despair at my future,my pain seems worst and the co-codomol are doing nothing but make me sick and dizzy,i just want my life back,my four year old had to get her breakfast this morning,i felt such a bad mother,i just want to get back to work and be normal
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Date: 01.09.2010
From: Sally

Subject: Re: Feeling very low

Hi Kat
I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so miserable. I have to admit I was the same yesterday. Everyone gets really bad days where the future seems bleak - well, I do anyway. One just has to take it day by day and try not to project into the future too much but it's hard sometimes.

You are not a bad mother and I expect your four year old is excited to get her own breakfast and help her mum out! My 3 year old niece loves to be doing what her mum does and organising herself and I'm sure you give her lots of love and support in other ways. Being a good mother is not just about the practical things. My own mother was good on practical stuff but not so great on the emotional side of things when I was little! Less perfect meals and more hugs would have been good!
Hope you feel better later.
xx
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Date: 01.09.2010
From: Shirley

Subject: Re: Feeling very low

Hi Kat,
Thinking of you and sorry you're feeling so low. You're obviously a very caring mother and what's important for your little girl is that you're there for her, not what you can or can't do for her.
A few weeks back I felt such a burden on my grown up kids I thought they'd be better off without me but having lost my mum at 15 I know that no-one else could take her place no matter what anyone did for me it wasn't the same as having my own mum. So I've been trying to go easy on myself and not look too far ahead. I feel a lot calmer today, even though progress is slow it helps those around me if I'm not so stressed. I'm sure I still face bad days ahead and hope I have the strength you've had, to share your feelings on here and find comfort knowing there are others out there who understand. x
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Date: 01.09.2010
From: katknapp

Subject: Re: Feeling very low

Thank you both,Its nice to be able to come on here and talk about this,i dont think my family understand what im going through,they see me carrying on and think im ok,i had a bad day yesterday too and must be just tired from that and painkillersxx
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Date: 01.09.2010
From: Sally

Subject: Re: Feeling very low

Hi Kat, I know exactly what you are talking about!! Just put the phone down on my sister who just does not get it. She has a cold so she thinks that is all that is wrong with me - I'm on inhalers, steroids ++++, antibiotics and can't take my arthritis drugs so legs seizing up and she expects me to water her garden and feed her cat while she is away. I can't even water my own garden at the moment!! Going to have to tell her she can't rely on me any more. Just had a chest x-ray which has confirmed I have a nasty infection. I feel frustrated with my friends and family at times. Asked one friend if he could drop over as I haven't seen anyone all week and he emailed back and said let me know if you want anything. I just did! Sorry Kat, hijacked your thread! Rant over but yes, I know how you feel. xx
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Date: 01.09.2010
From: katknapp

Subject: Re: Feeling very low

i know how you feel sally,im starting to get angry and frustrated with my family,no one realises just how limited you are with this,i cant even have a glass of wine to cheer myself up!
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Date: 01.09.2010
From: Tom H

Subject: Re: Feeling very low

Kat, point them towards this forum, thats what i did to my fiance when i thought she was not understanding what I was going through.
It helped her and inturn helped me.
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Date: 01.09.2010
From: Sally

Subject: Re: Feeling very low

Not a bad idea Tom but can't even get my lot to read up on what kind of arthritis I have. They look surprised every time I mention it as if it's something new!

Been feeling really miserable tonight again. I know it's because am really run down but it doesn't help. Posting on here does though :)
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Date: 01.09.2010
From: Tom H

Subject: Re: Feeling very low

Hope you feel better tomorrow Sally. You are making me feel angry towards your lot now!

Maybe you should print a few pages off and shove it under their noses!

Take Care
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Date: 01.09.2010
From: katknapp

Subject: Re: Feeling very low

i think my lot think i just need some tablets and thats it,i dont think they realise the frustration i feel,i cant hoover,i cant jump in my car when i fancy munchies,i cant do my house top to bottom,i need them to do these things now and they dont its left to me to do on days i feel ok which are getting very rare now,i think we need a page or post for partners x
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Date: 01.09.2010
From: Sally

Subject: Re: Feeling very low

Thanks Tom for your support, it means a lot. Yes, I get angry with them too - doesn't occur to a single one of them to ring me up and ask how I am. They think if they don't hear from me I am ok rather than the other way round.

Ditto Kat, I find it a struggle just to do the day to day stuff, never mind anything extra. Perhaps you should get a cleaner and pay for it out of household expenses and maybe cut down on something everyone else uses. Maybe they'll get the point that way. It's hard to be tough on the ones you love but sometimes you have to be. I am resisting ringing my sister tonight - she has has phoned land line, mobile and sent email since I put the phone down on her but she has to realise that I won't accept her impatience with my situation. It's tough but I am in it and she has to accept my limitations.
xx
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Date: 02.09.2010
From: Shirley

Subject: Re: Feeling very low

When I told my daughter I had RA she looked it up on Wikipedia and was horrified when she saw some pretty grusome pictures of what's going on inside. Maybe showing some of these pics to your folks might help them to understand?
After a few good days the pain is back everywhere again today.... goodness knows why..I can't understand why its so unpredicatable??
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