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Date: 07.04.2010
From: jill

Subject: Verity

Hi Verity, havnt managed a date yet, but rang the surgeons sec and she told me im on the URGENT op list yayyyyyyyyyyyyy, he looks at his records every two weeks, and tomoz and fri is the day they decide who goes next....not sure im on that tho, but fact im Urgent, mb I will be......mind u, took ,y MTX and Enbrel alst nite, so cant go in b4 two weeks anyway....how ya doing? xx
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Date: 07.04.2010
From: Verity

Subject: Re: Verity

Im feeling a bit shit today to be honest. I havent gone into work : ( I think its a combination of pain and emotions after yesterday. Just the way he was talking about me............ I didn't realise I was THAT BAD! He described my arthritis as being 'out of control'. He also wanted to bring op forward 2 weeks but I couldn't coz of the pill Im on.
Just indulging in a bit of self loathing today. I havent got the energy to do anything else : (

At least youre on the urgent list Jill. It means it could happen any time now (well after 2 weeks). Im keeping everything crossed for ya (actually...........I wont be crossing anything coz I cant haha!). You still feeling positive? Its gonna happen soon Jill : ) and you'll feel a lot better.

xx
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Date: 07.04.2010
From: Jill

Subject: Re: Verity

Hi V, I do understand honest I do, I was told by my rhummy about my condition that my body has a Pain lifecycle of its own, and that he personaly cant do any more for me as a rhummy, and its up to the surgeons as and when I need corrective surgery! I was told that bout 4 years ago, he also told me, the Reiters disease that I have(which is rare, apprently) out of a 100 people 90 ppl wld get better, 5% wld get Occasional flare ups, and the other 5%(ME in that part) will always have it chronically, the Reiters disease attacks all the soft tissues, i,e, discs, tendons etc, but has left me also with Inflam Artha, however, another rhummy says i have R.A. cos ESR was 97, 67 etc, U r Overwhelemd today, becos U realise How bad u r, and after what he said, it will ease, that feeling of vulnerability and loss, and as soon as u get ya new gorjus hips, u will feel More in control....and plus there is less joint damage, as that is one less thing to worry about ...im rambling here, but I know u will understand my gist....take care sweetie xx
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Date: 07.04.2010
From: Verity

Subject: Re: Verity

Hey J,
Youre totally right. I feel a little better already. It does just get pretty overwhelming. Its all happened so fast since I decided to get myself sorted and go back to the consultant and take whatever they throw at me. Its just been a LOT of constant appointments since last July. My brain has just been totally taken up with arthritis. A lot of it has obviously been incredibly beneficial, like DLA etc but I think it just tires me out sometimes.

My CRP has gone back up to 52.4 and thats on 25mg of MTX. I think its frustrating more than anything! Im sure everyone understands that : )

How are you feeling emotionally? Are you coping?

xx
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Date: 07.04.2010
From: JILL

Subject: Re: Verity

Verity U need some ((((((((Jilly hugs))))))) xxx

thats high crp, mines 29 at mo....Y do they give people such high doses of MTX? 25 is masssive, Shazza was on that, ans i remember her being so ill.....my bio nurse says they dont like to go higher than 17.5 at my hosp...... anyway, emotionally, sicne that phone call this morn, I feel better that he has put me on Urgent list, as he is a strange man and dont tell peeps much, so that has lifted me a lot today....I have to ring again fri to find out when and where for sure....got orrible feeling it wont be for a few weeks yet, also need to have at least ten clear says from last Enbrel jab..... I was back in hosp sun nite(massive attack, legs went to lead, ambulance etc, everything went vague, was awful, worst attack yet) was worth going in, even tho only in for 6 hours(thru the night) they gave me an anti spasminjection, kinda helped and morphine inj........this surgeon does breast ops and in high demand, the worst go first......think taht is their Matra, and quite rightly so.....but im struggling at mo...im coping Verity.....just not when that pain kicks in, seems to happen now just as i go to bed...was awake last nite til 3am, pain kicked in at ten, pain fin at 2ish, but nowt like other nite! if I get that pain again like other nite, will have to go back in, and will keep doing tht til i get the op I need, after all, hes put me down as Urgent...so I do deserve it removed asap........Keep ya chinny chin chin Up Verity.....POSITIVITY IS EVERYTHING!!!! XXX
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Date: 07.04.2010
From: Verity

Subject: Re: Verity

Id say you'll be pretty high on their list Jill. How much worse can it get? They could move but I guess theres not a lot else that can make you feel worse than you already do. Sunday sounds like it was bloody awful. If it happens again they have no choice but to help you out with drugs if theyre not giving you the op straight away. It will happen and youre gonna feel soooo good in comparison.

I just got a friggin parking ticket! The wardens round here are such c**ts! We have to buy a permit to park on our streetand the rest of the street is single yellow lines so I can park with me disabled badge. The warden has seen my car with the blue badge in it before. I was planning on goin to work today so didnt need to put it in the window last night. Totally forgot this morn when I didnt go in. He KNEW it was a disabled car! What a total arsehole. Oh my God. Im so peed off by it!
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